Funny Real Estate Quotes for Social Media Marketing

Navigating the world of real estate can be a serious endeavor, filled with market analyses, intense negotiations, and paperwork galore. Yet, as with all things in life, there’s a lighter side to property dealings. These, funny real estate quotes are sure to bring a chuckle. After all, who said the journey to finding or selling a home can’t be sprinkled with a good dose of humor? Dive in and enjoy these witty quips about the world of real estate!

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Funny Real Estate Quotes from Famous People

QuoteAuthorSuggested Graphic for Social Media
“I am basically a full-time psychologist who shows houses every now and then.”Dori WarnerA split image. On the left, a therapist’s office with a couch, and on the right, the interior of a beautiful home with an “Open House” sign.
“To be successful in real estate, you must always and consistently put your clients’ best interests first. When you do, your personal needs will be realized beyond your greatest expectations.”Anthony HittA handshake between a realtor and a client in front of a sold house, with a heart overlay symbolizing trust and care.
“Buyers decide in the first eight seconds of seeing a home if they’re interested in buying it. Get out of your car, walk in their shoes and see what they see within the first eight seconds.”Barbara CorcoranA stopwatch or timer set to eight seconds with a fast-forward motion blur of a home’s exterior, capturing the urgency of a first impression.
“Buy land, they’re not making it anymore.”Mark TwainAn aerial view of a beautiful piece of land with a “SOLD” sign on it, juxtaposed against a cosmic background to emphasize the uniqueness of Earth.
“Don’t wait to buy real estate. Buy real estate and wait.”Will RogersAn hourglass with sand at the top labeled “Real Estate” slowly dropping to the bottom labeled “Profit”, symbolizing the passage of time and value appreciation.
“Find out where the people are going and buy the land before they get there.”William Penn AdairA map or GPS interface showing a trail of footprints leading towards an unmarked piece of land with a “For Sale” sign.
“The best investment on earth is earth.”Louis GlickmanA globe or world map in the shape of a piggy bank, emphasizing the value and investment potential of the earth.

Funny Realtor Quotes

Do you ever want to let off some steam but you don’t want to appear defensive or bitter? Well here are some quotes that’ll help you laugh the pain away:

QuoteSuggested Graphic for Social Media
“Real estate agents: We put the ‘real’ in ‘real estate’ – and sometimes the ‘unreal’ in ‘unrealistic expectations.’” “Real” and “Unreal” highlighted in glowing fonts on a house background.
“A real estate agent’s favorite game is ‘Hide and Seek’ – we hide the flaws and seek the best price.” Icon of a house with magnifying glass revealing hidden flaws and a price tag.
“Real estate agents: Turning houses into homes since the dawn of time.”Evolution timeline: from cave to modern house with agent figures throughout.
“I get lost for a living.”Agent with a map and a confused expression in a maze shaped like a house.
“A good agent knows the market. A great agent knows where to find the best tacos.”Split screen: one side with market statistics and the other with a taco truck.
“Being a real estate agent is like being a therapist with keys.”Agent sitting in a therapist chair holding a bunch of keys.
“There are two things you should never DIY: your wedding and your real estate transactions.”Split image: messy DIY wedding on one side and a chaotic house sale on the other.
“In a crowded market, a good agent is like a GPS. You can still get there without one, but it might take a few wrong turns.”GPS device with agent’s face guiding through a crowded market street to a dream home.

Funny Home Quotes

Sometimes you need to remind people the importance of home (and home buying) along with a little humor. Here are some funny home quotes for realtors.

QuoteSuggested Graphic for Social Media
“Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically.”An image of a Wi-Fi symbol with a heart or home symbol in it.
“Home is where your favorite food delivery app knows your address by heart.”A smartphone with a food delivery app and a heart on a map.
“Home is where you can dance like nobody’s watching – or like the neighbors are watching and judging.”A silhouette of someone dancing in a living room window with cartoon eyes (representing neighbors) peeking from the next window.
“Home is where the heart is – and where the mortgage payment comes due every month.” A heart inside a house with a calendar reminder or dollar sign next to it.

Funny First Time Buyer Quotes

Sometimes you have buyers that let their lack of experience buying homes get the best of them. Lighten the mood with these funny quotes about buying a home and hopefully minimize the headaches for everyone involved:

QuoteSuggested Graphic for Social Media
“To my buyers, real estate is like dating, you’re going to see some frogs before you find your prince…”Illustration of a frog turning into a prince in front of a house.
“If ya pay, ya stay. If ya don’t, ya won’t.”Piggy bank next to a house; one side full, the other empty.
“Everyone’s paying a mortgage: either your own or someone else’s.”Two houses, one labeled “mine” and the other “yours.”
“If you sleep on it you won’t sleep in it.”Bed outside a house, another bed inside.
“Do you want to put in an offer, or buy a house?”Two buttons; one labeled “offer” and the other “buy”.
“When it comes to real estate, the best view is always from the top – of your budget.”Person on top of a mountain of coins looking through binoculars.
“In real estate, there’s no such thing as too many bathrooms – unless you’re the one cleaning them.”A house with multiple toilet icons and a mop.
“In real estate, the early bird gets the house… and the late bird gets the apartment.”A bird with a worm in front of a house; another bird in front of an apartment.
“The difference between renting and buying is like the difference between dating and marriage – one is a lot more expensive.”Two rings; one rental tag, the other a diamond ring.
“Everything is negotiable except the address and even that is sometimes negotiable.”A house with price tags on everything, including the mailbox.
“Champagne taste 🥂 on a beer budget 🍻.”Two glasses; one champagne, the other beer, with dollar signs.
“If you want a perfect home, build it yourself – just don’t ask me to help.” Person with DIY tools in front of a half-built house, shrugging.
“The best time to buy a house is when your heart says ‘yes’ and your bank account says ‘maybe.’” Heart and a bank balance scale.
“House hunting is like searching for a needle in a haystack – a very expensive haystack.”Person with a magnifying glass over a haystack, finding a house.
“Buying a house is like playing Monopoly, except the game never ends and the bills are real.”Monopoly board with real bills flying out.
“You wanna go home or you wanna go to jail.”Choice road sign; one way pointing to a house, the other to jail bars.
Funny Real Estate Quotes for Social Media Marketing

Funny Real Estate Seller Quotes

Because sellers expectations are ALWAYS reasonable (said “no agent ever”):

QuoteSuggested Graphic for Social Media
“List it right, sells over night, list it wrong, stays on too long.”Hourglass with a house inside: top half is golden and bright, bottom half is dim with a “for sale” sign.
“You can be right or you can be sold.”Scale balancing a house and a checkmark (representing being right).
“You either price your house to sell or you price your house to sell your neighbors house!”Two houses: one with a competitive price tag, the other with a ‘sold’ sign.
“The market dictates your price. The market has spoken and the silence is deafening!”A market scene with a huge mute symbol overlaying it.
“But Zillow said my house is worth a lot more”House with a price tag being inflated by a whimsical “Zillow” cloud.
“Buyers are liars.”Buyer with a Pinocchio nose looking at a house.

Funny Real Estate Negotiation Quotes

Because a little humor never hurts when trying to get your client the best deal at the proverbial negotiating table.

QuoteSuggested Graphic for Social Media
“If you have to eat a frog, don’t stare it in the face too long”! 😂Cartoonish frog on a plate, looking skeptically at a fork and knife beside it.
“It’s all volunteer work until it gets to the closing table.”A realtor rolling up their sleeves, working hard, with a “closing table” in the distance with dollar signs above it.
“Where there is mold, there is gold”A house with mold spots transforming into golden coins.
“Deals over feels. 😅.”A heart and a handshake on a balancing scale, with the handshake side being heavier.

Random Funny Quotes About Buying A Home

Here’s a long list of random marketing ready funny real estate quotes:

QuoteSuggested Graphic for Social Media
“If the kitchen is the heart of the home, then the laundry room is definitely the appendix.”Diagram of a house’s interior with the kitchen highlighted as a heart and the laundry room as an appendix.
“You never really know a neighborhood until you’ve lived there, or at least borrowed a cup of sugar from the neighbors.”Illustration of a new resident knocking on a neighbor’s door, holding an empty sugar cup.
“Real estate: where ‘cozy’ means small and ‘charming’ means old.”Two houses side by side: a tiny one with a “Cozy” sign and an old-fashioned one with a “Charming” sign.
“The grass is always greener on the other side – especially if the other side has a better lawn care service.”Two lawns side by side, one lush and the other patchy, with a lawn service truck on the lush side.
“In real estate, a picture is worth a thousand words – or a few hundred thousand dollars.”Camera snapping a picture of a house, with price tags flying out of the camera.
“They said they are pre-approved, they just haven’t had time to email me the docs.”An agent waiting by the computer with an empty inbox notification.
“I’ve been an agent longer than you’ve been alive, honey”An agent with a badge showing “37+ years” pointing to a timeline from a crib to today.
“‘things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.'”Illustration of a hustling agent grabbing properties, while another waits and only a few are left.
“Oh honey I’ve been doing this for 37 years that’s just how it’s done”Agent with a retro look pointing to a calendar showing 37 years crossed out.
“Why are they moving?”A house with question marks around it and moving boxes outside.
“He who hesitates goes home alone”Cartoonish depiction of a person hesitating at a house’s door while others go inside.
“Remember you are acting as a COOPERATING broker”Two brokers shaking hands with the word “COOPERATING” in bold above them.
“This is what we like to call ‘commission impossible’.”Agent hanging from ropes (like in Mission Impossible) with a contract in hand.
“In life you want to be the first one the second wife and the third realtor!”Podium with “1st: ??, 2nd: Wife figure, 3rd: Realtor figure” with medals.
“I’m a great housekeeper! I get divorced I keep the house!”A woman holding house keys with a divorce paper and a house behind her.

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